The Comfy Chair
by Nora Salisbury
Summary: Roxanne's latest eBay find is sure to put a smile on Megamind's face ... among other things.
1. Chapter 1

She knew she had to have it as soon as she saw it. After examining the photo and the description carefully, she pressed the button to bid and snickered. The sky was the limit for _this_ item. She would have it without a doubt, and she couldn't wait for the auction to end so she could show it to her blue boyfriend.

"Is he here?" She whispered to Minion hoarsely, carrying in a box.

"No, he's tweaking a few brainbots that needed some replacement parts. What have you got there?"

"Look at this!"

"What is it?" He read the box and looked at the picture. "Well, I don't think he's seen one of those before. Where'd you find that?" Megamind's recently changed status had generated a new flurry of marketing. Gone were the days when his villainous visage was printed on rolls of toilet paper for gag gifts or used as the background for dartboards. Now his name and face were found on everything from coffee mugs to key chains, and Roxanne and Minion vied to see who could find the rarer items they hadn't collected yet.

"Ebay!" she told him, pressing the foot pump rapidly, hoping it would be ready before Megamind saw it. Finally it was fully inflated, and they stood looking down at it. Roxanne smiled widely.

"It even has speakers! That's kind of neat," the fish thoughtfully pointed out.

That was when Roxanne realized he wasn't grasping the implications of the unfortunately placed design it sported and figured she'd clue him in. "Check it out, Minion. You can even plug in your music… and voila!" Taking a seat, she hit the play button on her iPod. A jaunty tune by a well-known British comedy group blared out while Roxanne bounced slightly on the inflatable chair, looking up at Minion with a meaningful smirk. A light bulb seemed to appear over his head.

"Oh… my." He blushed brightly while Roxanne laughed out loud.

"Can't _wait_ until he sees this!" she crowed.

"Do I detect the dulcet tones of my favorite reporter's voice?"

"Oh, sweetheart! You have to see what I found," she told him as he walked in. "I don't think you have one in your collection yet, so I got it for you." She smiled up at him as she ran her hands down the sides of the seat to show off her purchase. "Sooo nice and comfy."

He looked down at the inflatable chair she was sitting on, examining it from several sides and somewhat surprised she was so enamored of the plastic piece of furniture. "No, I haven't seen one of those before. Are you sure this is one of mine?" He looked closer. "You wouldn't know it except that it's blue. No insignia? Ooo! Are those speakers?"

"Yeah! Not a bad sound either." She turned the music on again, the same lusty tune playing loudly.

Raising an eyebrow at her, he mentioned her musical selection, a song with a hook that always caused him to have rather lewd ideas. "In the mood for some Monty Python, dear?"

"Well, this chair sort of… puts me in the mood." She bounced on it a little again before standing up to give him get a better look at what she'd been sitting on.

His eyes popped open, and he covered his mouth with a hand. "Oh my gosh! That's… that's my face! On the SEAT!"

Roxanne giggled and then snorted. "I know! So conveniently placed too! I'm sure all your fan girls will be wanting one of these."

"NO way!" He looked at her askance, watching him with a wicked smirk and a twinkle in her eye. "I'll be taking that and putting it away in the collection! And buying up all the others too. Where did you get it?"

"Ebay!" Roxanne laughed. "From Germany."

"Oh, curse you, eBay!" he growled, knowing he'd never find them all. "Minion, deflate that and put it away, would you?"

"Of course, Sir!" He grabbed the chair and tucked it under one arm before scooting out of the room.

"And start searching eBay!" He called after the retreating form. Megamind looked at Roxanne, still grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Naughty. You bought that just to tease me." When she confirmed his suspicion with a laugh, he added, "You don't need one of those chairs anyway. All you have to do is ask, you know."

"Hmm! I know..." She couldn't resist tweaking his goatee slightly as he turned a smoldering gaze her way. "Except, you don't play music."

"You never asked me to," he countered. "That could be arranged."

The playful gleam in her eyes drew Megamind in like a mechanical bunny entices racing dogs. Her body tensed like a spring, poised to run. "The next one I find," she informed him, " _I'm keeping!"_

"Oh, you are _SO_ asking for it!" The words strained through the mischievous twist of his lips as her hero picked up the gauntlet and readied himself for the chase, just as she had expected.

Suddenly she was off like a shot with him right on her heels as she bounded away, giggling hysterically. As she slowed down to round a corner, he smacked her backside to teach her a lesson. She was going to have to utilize all her temptress ways to smooth over this blow to his ego, but that actually made the embarrassment worth cultivating in his estimation.


	2. Chapter 2 His story

Ohhh, what did I get myself into with this hero business? Everyone wants a piece of me! I've turned down I don't know how many endorsement deals, for everything from energy drinks to evening wear. Granted, although I was taken aback by the sketches they showed me at first, the pajama capes were cool. However, I've decided I'm not selling out.

I don't have the patience to bring legal action on every yahoo that decides to put my face on a T-shirt, and really those don't bother me so much. Metrocity's denizens seem to enjoy having the opportunity to stop me and ask that I autograph their garment which only increases my popularity, so more power to them.

But some things ... I wonder what the manufacturers were thinking. For instance, there was this… item Roxanne found on eBay ... damn them! Without that online swap meet, all of this particular collectible would have been safely tucked away in Germany… Italy… anywhere but here!

But noooo. My inquisitive little reporter had to sniff around 'til she found this tasteless inflatable chair. Well, it actually looked pretty normal at first glance ... while she was sitting in it. It even has little speakers on either side of the headrest, perfect for rocking out in air-cushioned comfort! I might have even given it my seal of approval if someone in the design department had put on their thinking cap. They either suffered a massive senior moment, or they're sick in the head and obsessed with sex.

I'm looking at this thing, wondering why Roxanne is sitting there ... or should I say bouncing, clearly losing the battle to contain the inane grin on her face. Then she stands up and reveals that they've plastered my handsome visage across the seat of the cursed thing! I mean, come ON! Just the thought of how many derrieres will be flattened against my…. ugh…

Oh, but of course she's standing there howling like a hyena over it. Funny, I still love hearing her laugh, even at my expense. She's never mean about it. She just gets a thrill out of teasing me. And the feeling is mutual. I should have asked her if we could drag it in the bedroom and do our best to pop it. I'm sure she would have cackled like crazy at that, probably making a comment about having me in stereo.

When I intimated that she had full access to the real thing for the asking, she pointed out that I don't play music. Oh, that little minx! Her silliness gives me an idea though… I think I'll meet her under the covers tonight wearing one of those MP3 players… you know, the kind joggers strap to their arm with Velcro ... and nothing else. "Some mood music, milady? Rock, pop or contemporary? Ladies' choice..."


End file.
